We had a long glorious history this year, enjoying various beverages which only served to increase our enjoyment of the games. Now it's time for the important games in what is decidedly the highest profile series of the First Round. You have the Rangers! You have the fightin' Ovechkins! Its playoff hockey! The Caps will win in 5! Frankly, I can't wait until the first all bracketed quote from Sean Avery. You know in the papers how they often replace confusing language or words that are inappropriate for every day consumption? I expect this from the New York Post: "Avery said of his opponents, "The [Capitals] are [talented] which [will make this a tough game], but [I feel that we, the Rangers, are the better team and will end up winning the series and move on to the second round.]. Also, [my ex-girlfriend has loose morals]"
... every time Ovechkin does something you will never be able to do.
... for every new Playoff Beard you see. Twice if you could grow a better one. Thrice if your grandmother could grow a better one. Beard growing is something I have on Ovie.
... throughout every Kings promo for the NBC games. Hey! The Kings made the playoffs! Sort of!
... when the announcing team mentions the Caps' "Rock the Red" campaign. Finish your drink if Avery mentions "rocking the red". Keep drinking until you're not squeamish.
... when New Yorkers make reference to being "True Blue". Finish your drink if Avery mentions being "True Blue." Keep drinking until you're not squeamish.
... EXTRA BONUS PLAYOFF DRINK For the playoff series, we're going to have a player for each team that you need to drink when his name is mentioned. For the Capitals, drink every time Milan Jurcina is mentioned, or is seen on screen. For the Rangers, your drinking player is Colton Orr. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.
Enjoy the playoffs, they start tomorrow!