The BMR Mailbag: JR Porn, the Canadian Dollar and You
Written by Schultz   
Tuesday, 21 July 2009 12:45

Sometimes, real people actually email us. This is a look at some of those times. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. You may want to avert your eyes.

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To: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

From: Ashley

Subject: help!

hello. this is an odd request but i accidentally deleted a picture of some guy with a girl getting sexual favors and it looked like jeremy roenick, and my boyfriend is super pissed at me for it. do you know where i could get this? it looks like him and he is wearing a jersey. anyway, sorry if this is weird, i just feel bad and wanna smooth things over with some fake roenick porn.

thanks!

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Dear Ashley,

There's no better way to smooth things over with a significant other than with some fake JR porn. We took the liberty of typing "jeremy roenick porn" into Google and this is what we found. Print this out and iron it onto a t-shirt and give it to your boyfriend. I think that's your best bet.

jrpron

- BMR Staff

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From: Caitlin

Subject:  Why did the canadian dollar go up today

Hi,
Why did the canadian dollar go up today?
What Gotchas should I be aware of?
Please point me in the right direction.  Thank you very much.
Thank you,
Caitlin

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Caitlin,

Your concern is certainly well placed. The Canadian Dollar went up since during the summer, Canada thaws and the ice industry hits its slow point in the year. While you would think a decline in the ice industry would be a bad thing, it's actually a good thing since Canadians are now forced to go out and spend their money instead of staying home and playing hockey on their backyard rinks all day. Remember, when in doubt, ask the Penguins.

- BMR Staff

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To: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

From: Mark

Subject: Road Hockey Rumble Now on DVD!

 

Hey Kevin,

My name is Mark and I’m one of the creators/hosts/writers of the Canadian award winning television series, Road Hockey Rumble. In a nut shell, throughout our 2 seasons and 26 episodes, myself and Calum (the other jackass on the show) travelled from coast to coast to coast throughout our Bobby Orr worshipping, Great White North – pitting civic rivals against each other in balls-out matches of road hockey… the winning team got bragging rights and beer, while the losing host was ultimately punished for SUCKING!

Anyway, I’m just writing to let you know that our fantastically and profanely odd sports/reality/comedy/travel series is now available on DVD, being sold exclusively through our website: www.roadhockeyrumble.com. Now, if you deem it worthy, we’d be absolutely over the moon if you were to mention our DVD release on your blog. And, before I waste too much more of your time, I’d just like to forward you 2 links to our online trailers that might peak your interest far more dramatically than these typed ramblings.

I must admit, the show’s pretty heavy on ‘Canadiana’ but I think the overall reverence for the game will undoubtedly appeal to hockey fans south of the 49th, as well. Whether you’re Canadian or not, for example, it’s worth watching the Rankin Inlet episode just to see Nashville Predator Jordin Tootoo’s creative approach to profanity and to witness a bunch of Inuit high-kickers nailing a grown man in an extremely sensitive area of the male anatomy – over and over and over again!

Thank you for your time and if you happen to have any questions, please feel free to fire me a line or give me a ring whenever you find it convenient.

Cheers,

Mark

 



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