What Canadians are doing other than watching the Cup Finals
Written by Dave McBrayer   
Wednesday, 10 June 2009 18:51

Recent reports have surprisingly shown that Canada's TV ratings for the Stanley Cup Finals are down for the 2nd year in a row.  WTF, Canada?  I thought you live/breathe/die by the puck!

Unsure of why this is; I thought I'd consult some of my co-writers on BMR.  Loser Domi is an American who went to school in Quebec, but that doesn't really count because they think its a separate country from Canada. Schultz is a New Yorker who is probably too drunk amidst the Tavares celebration to respond to anything coherently.  I'm a North Carolinian, so with me it's the furthest thing from knowing what it's like being a Canadian.  Ryan is the closest seeing as he lives in Minnesota (didn't Canada try to annex the state of Minnesota one time?  Wait no, that was Texas/Mexico) but his sorry ass is in Iceland or somewhere unreachable at the moment.

So without any scientific results to inform us as to why Canadians don't give a crap about the Stanley Cup Finals anymore - I present to you:

McBrayer's Wild Ass Guesses as to what Canada is doing other than watching hockey:

1.  Too busy following twitter reports from Phoenix courtrooms.  So, the Yotes might become the seventh Canadian franchise, eh?  Great, now you'll all have another team to witness as they fail miserably and continue Canada's Cup Drought.

2. Too busy making fun of Americans:

'

3. Too busy following the Toronto Blue Jays.  The BJs are actually having a decent season and were leading the ultra-tough AL East over the Yanks and Red Sox for awhile.  Naahh, there's no way they're too busy watching baseball over hockey.

4. Too busy watching the Canadian Football League, where NFL players go to die.  Does that shit still actually exist?

5. Too busy hanging out at strip clubs?  No, the only people with that excuse are probably my boys at FHF.

6. Too busy getting attacked by Canadian Geese to sit in front of the TV for too long (are they just called geese up there?):



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