| 19 May 2009
Somewhere deep inside NHL headquarters in New York City a shadowy figure sits in front of a mahogany desk with his back facing the desk, staring out the window at the world outside. Naturally, it's dark and rainy outside.
Bettman: Damnit. Those Hurricanes are up to no good again. We had them set up perfectly! First, they had to face the Devils so we could guarantee that one pointless small market team would get knocked out. Then we had them up against the Bruins, who have been set to 'Annhiliate' all season long. And the Bruins... gah... Lost! How is it possible?!
*turns around abruptly and slams fist on desk*
GB: They're one step away from the Finals again! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN???!!! JUST THINK OF THE TV RATINGS!!! OH GOOD LORD THE RATINGS!!!!
*secretary buzzes in on intercom*
Secretary: Gary, is everything OK in there?
GB: Yes, yes everything's fine, Janice. Thank you.
Secretary: Alright. Use that stress ball I got you if you're getting upset again. We wouldn't want those migranes to comeback now would we?
GB: No, no. You're right.
Secretary: Let me know if you need anything.
GB: Thank you... Oh, and could you call in everyone for an executive meeting at 3pm? We've got some serious matters to discuss.
Secretary: No problem, I'll do it right now.
GB: Thanks, Janice.
*GB goes back to his monologue*
GB: All is not lost. There will be a big TV market out of the west. Now we just need to insure the Penguins win. I can't have those pesky Hurricanes sucking the life and ratings out of the Finals. But this is getting absurd, I've already given them Crosby and Malkin! I even got the Islanders to ship in Bill Guerin! What more do they need??
Ah yes... Why didn't I think of it sooner?
*starts poking Cam Ward Voodoo Doll with tacs*
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
