Guys on Ice: Best of Both Worlds Edition
Written by Loser Domi   
Tuesday, 03 November 2009 23:26

Milet cyrus and Hannah Montana

First of all, I'd like to dedicate this Guys on Ice to frequent reader Sleza, for agreeing with me on the look-alikes and for introducing me to this group. Also, I promise this is the last time I do a Disney-inspired Guys on Ice for a really, really, long time.

***Welcome to the Atlanta Thrashers Chat Room!***
AntroBot_80000: OH wow! I has tickets to see great Russian pop duo SMASH!!

Kovalchuk_Norris: I thought they broke up?

AntroBot_80000: NO, they get back together for Save Adorable Kitties Concert. You want to come with me, Ilya?

Kovalchuk_Norris: I…uh…I can’t. I’m…not a fan.

AntroBot_80000: How can you not be fans of SMASH!!?

Army_Navy: What’s a smash?

AntroBot_80000: Is great group Ilya does no like. Here is Youtubes I have:

Army_Navy: Wow…the dark haired guy kind of look like you, Ilya

Kovalchuk_Norris: Oh, haha, is just coincidence.

AntroBot_80000: You wants to go to concert, Colby?

Army_Navy: Whatever.


***Later, after the concert!***

Army_Navy: Wow, this isn’t too bad. Look at all these hot Russian chicks!

AntroBot_80000: And they had great dancing and such. And new songs!

Army_Navy: And I still can’t get over how much that dark-haired guy looks like Ilya. It’s kind of…eerie.

AntroBot_80000: Look! It’s his dressing room! Is he in there?

Kovalchuk_Norris: AH! Nik! Colby! What are you doing!

Army_Navy: We just saw a great show! Wait a second…why are you here? I thought you weren’t coming…

Kovalchuk_Norris: I need you both to keep secret of mine. When I am in Atlanta, I am simply Ilya Kovalchuk. But when I puts on this wig, I am Sergey Lazarev, Russian pop superstar.

AntroBot_80000: But Ilya, this wig is exactly the same as your own hair.

Kovalchuk_Norris: Someone is coming! Stall them while I put wig back on.

***Reporter_Person has entered the chat room!***

Reporter_Person: I represent English-language Russian news paper. Who are you two?

Army_Navy: MY name, is, uh…Studmuffin McGriddle. And this is my friend Oliver…Klothsov. We have been good friends of, uh, Sergey for years!

AntroBot_80000: We are posse!

Reporter_Person: This smells fishy for some reason…

Kovalchuk_Norris: Ah! A SMASH!! Fan! How nice!

Reporter_Person: Why did you reunite with your bandmate, Vlad Topalov?

Kovalchuk_Norris: I do it for the Adorable Kitties.

AntroBot_80000: We all likes adorable kitties.

Kovalchuk_Norris: Uh…No more questions. Is time for sleeps.

***Reporter_Person has left the chat room!***

Kovalchuk_Norris: Wow…that was close, you guys

Army_Navy: We’re your friends, Ilya—

AntroBot_80000: Sergey !

Army_Navy: --and we’d do it for you again in a heart beat.

Kovalchuk_Norris: But why you give fake names?

Army_Navy: Well….if we gave out real names, people could find out we're hockey players and they would know your secret more easily.

***Vlad Topalov has entered the chat room!***

Vlad Topalov: Vat secret?

AntroBot_80000: Oh...he is afraid of the dark.

Vlad Topalov: I could have said that

***Vlad Topalov has left the chat room!***

AntroBot_80000:But how are you not dead of sleep deprivation and exhuastion?

Army_Navy:And how do you get around?

Kovalchuk_Norris: To be true, I am like Superman, but instead of saving people, I make pop music.

Army_Navy: And how are people so stupid they don't know it's you? Actually, don't answer that.

Kovalchuk_Norris: I is so lucky to have best of both worlds.





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Comments (4)Add Comment
...
written by sleza, November 04, 2009
Oww...! Smash!! LD you're great smilies/smiley.gif
I would reunite with Topalov for adorable kittens... or really for any reason

Since sexy time with married men with kids is a no no, so is it now wrong to drool over Sergey/Ilya?
...
written by Loser domi, November 04, 2009
Sleza, I think museum policy is best in both cases--you can look and admire, but you cannot touch
comment
written by Neil Harrell, November 04, 2009
As a college-age woman who has no desire to save herself for marriage, and gets a lot of mixed messages about sex, I like that College Candy is a place where I can turn to that’s fairly honest and real, and isn’t going to make me feel bad for expressing what are – let’s be honest – natural biological urges that no one should be made to feel ashamed about, male or female.
...
written by McBrayer, November 04, 2009
"To be true, I am like Superman, but instead of saving people, I make pop music."

I'm gonna use this on the next person that tries to talk shit to me.

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busy
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