| 16 October 2009
New York -- NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman recently allowed Canadian journalist, Mike Zeisberger into his office to discuss the rumors of team relocations and the possiblity of a Quebec City return. When questioned on whether or not there is a master "list" of where X-team will end up shall it fail, Mr. Commish vehemently denied such a thing.
"But to the extent people think I have this master list hanging on my office wall in terms of where we are going next, that is not the case... you can confirm for yourself ... there is no list on my wall. Search away, You can look in all the drawers also." - as told to the Toronto Sun
While Zeisberger didn't find the list, a sneaky intern who works as a mole for us did find a few other items of interest in Gary's office. That poor kid is scarred for life now. Jump to see the horror unfold.
In desk drawer #1:
Mole: "What is this thing Mr. Bettman?"
Bettman: "Oh, that?! Why that's uh, a bracelet. A girl's bracelet. I've just been hanging onto it waiting to give it as a gift to someone. I haven't, uh, found the right person to give it to yet."
(Gary nervously snatches the beads away and stuffs it inside his sport coat pocket.)
Behind a large picture frame, the mole uncovers a hole in the wall with a box inside. Inside said box is a small, wrinkled up picture: 
Mole: "What's this all about, Mr. Bettman?"
Bettman: "Oh come on, like you've never seen that movie The Ten Commandments? Don't even try that."
Suddenly, the mole discovers a latch at his feet that opens a secret trap door. Upon opening, he finds: 
Mole: "Mr. Bettman!? Is this a sweatshop with children making clothes?!"
Bettman: "That apparel doesn't make itself. Besides, how do you think we could afford that deal for 15% off the purchase of $50 or more on your NHL store mailing list?"
The mole, infuriated, took a better look around the sweatshop to see what was going down. He looked to see exactly what jersey the kids were making and found: 
Mole: "Are these Kansas City Scouts jerseys they're making?"
Bettman: "Get the hell out of my office, kid!"
Mole: "But it's not even a Reebok---"
Bettman: "OUT!"
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