Gaborik: Ugh, Columbus is so LAME. All it is is chain restaurants and college kids. LAME.
Agent: That may be the case, but the Blue Jackets might be our best option to secure a long term contract with.
Gaborik: God! You and your fiscal responsibility. So LAME.
Agent: Sure. I understand that none of this is exciting, but it needs to be done. I think you can point to your time in Minnesota as a good comparable. In Columbus, you will be the superstar, ad in that role you are very capable.
Gaborik: Uuuuuughhhh, Minnesota was so LAME. So polite and cold and all the food had cream or was deep fried. Freaking LAME. And a little chubby.
Agent: Why did you even come to America if you didn't even like anything here, Marian
Gaborik: Trencin was so small and quaint and it was totally LAME. And what kind of people name their boys Marian? LAME
Agent: Well, whatever. It's my job to secure you a good contract, and we will be meeting with the Columbus front office in New York next week. You liked New York, right?
Gaborik: Ooooh, tall buildings, clubs and restaurants and a generally cosmopolitan population. Ha! LAME