In honor of the holiday, American Thanksgiving, I wanted to thank you all for bearing with this hockey blog when there is no hockey to speak of. In honor of the day, I wanted to share with you this shaky video of a hockey game between Greece and Turkey. Get it? Thanksgiving? Greece? Turkey? It's as good as you get until there is actual hockey somewhere. Anywhere.

Happy Thanksgiving, I guess. 

Dear @nhl , You have now dropped to behind the Albanian Superliga in my list of favorite sports leagues

— Ryan Henning (@VictoriawxRhino) October 18, 2012

You think I'm joking?! I am not! I'm all about Albanian soccer! Really! Let's do it! Here are a couple of fun facts about Albanian soccer:

- Skenderbeu is currently on top of the table

- Like in hockey, they score "goals" in soccer, and the teams are filled with a lot of eastern Europeans. 

- They are actually playing this winter.

- They use Europe in their overwrought highlight videos:
So, please, join me in following along with the Superliga. Tweet at me with your Superliga fandom, observations and questions, but be sure that you include @NHL so they know that you have moved on and away from the NHL, because they are a bunch of smelly buttholes.  

Ever since sports started, team owners have been trying to take advantage of athletes. The mentality was that the owners were the smart people, the ones with the money. Players were property, just big dumb oxes that went out and ran around and tackled and skated and pitched for owners. They were paid whatever the owners wanted to pay them. Competition for their services was a textile factory.

But while there were some dumb oxes (and there still are) a few smart seeds out there saw the value in worker rights, and players started making more money with the advent of free agency, some of which they could use to hire people even smarter than them to negotiate fair market value. Of course, sports owners were making more money, and their franchise values were skyrocketing. It was a necessary expenditure, spending on the product that earned money. Players still weren't human, but at least they were a commodity and not property.

Then, the players unionized. The players were trying to be treated like humans. They wanted to make sure silly things happened, like their health was taken care of, and their contracts were honored. Eventually, the unions had smart enough people representing them that they, collectively, were as bright as the ownership that had once taken full advantage of them. Where ownership recognizes that they are on the same level as a species with the players, there is labor peace [see: Major League Baseball... except in Miami]. Some leagues [see NBA/NFL] still view players as commodities, and there are some serious tete a tetes. 

Of course, in the NHL, ownership refuses to to regard their players as anything but a subhuman group of mouth breathing idiots. In fact, the players recognize the problem with the league (a discrepency between the wealthy and poor teams), but the league won't listen. They want to be respected and have their contracts honored. But the league still views the players as property, to be payed what they want them to be paid.

Ownership refuses to get with the times. They have broken the fans (I have heard people pleading with the players just to give in) but not the players. Perhaps that's because they thought they had been more than accomodating 7 years ago, and now it's clear that the owners are just trying to fuck them. The owners can't just treat their players like property. At least bump them up to market regulated commodities. Figure it out. No more hiatuses. No more stunts. Stop being dicks. 

For the time being, I'm done with the NHL. I still love hockey, and I love Barry Melrose Rocks, but the NHL can suck it. 

Pierre Lebrun and Katie Strang, both hockey journalists for ESPN are obivously professional and hard working, whether or not ESPN covers their sport or not. In fact they have made the best of their present situation covering labor negotiations, opting to make a video update from the site of the current labor negotiations. So what if the only place to do so was next to the bar, with spirits on the table? 

Katie is talking about the tense situation....

Pierre about his "make hole"....

Sparks. 

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The NHL isn't airing on NBC this year, but they wanted to make sure to show that they could still provide on ice entertainment, so with more eyes on them, perhaps at any other time this fall, they made sure to go to the rink outside of Rockefeller Center.

The electoral map during the election was displayed on the rink, in what was decidedly a thumbing of the nose at hockey fans. "Oh, we can get people to watch ice rinks WITHOUT the NHL. We don't need the lockout to end! And by the way, that's the AMERICAN election. We have nothing for you, Canada! Up yours! Screw you AND your Prime Minister!"

Sources who might be close to NHL Deputy Comissioner Bill Daly have insisted that Daly is out of his office for the time being and may or may not be in a meeting somewhere with someone. He may have left in his car, or perhaps grabbed a ride in a taxi, with neither option precluding a chance that he may have gone to the airport. Sources also confirm that Daly has a passport, though it is not entirely certain that he has it with him. If he does have it with him, there is a chance that Daly has left the country. This seems unlikely, but we are waiting for confirmation that Daly is still in the United States. He might be in Canada. There is a chance he has gone to Russia. 
Additional, sources close to the NHL Players Association have inferred that Steve Fehr hasn't been seen in a while, and the last time anyone noticed him, he was furiously organizing some paperwork. Though there has been no confirmation  as to what was included within the paperwork, assumptions are that the files included details pertaining to the current Labor Negotiations, because tax season is so far away, and it's all he seems to be talking about lately. 
With these two pieces of evidence, it is plausible that both Bill Daly and Steve Fehr are meeting somewhere together, and though we don't know where, the conversation, hypothetically, may be about the CBA. Although, to be fair, if Steve Fehr an Bill Daly were, in fact, getting together, they could just be gossiping about Gary Bettman or Steve's brother Donald, whom they both know.
More information as details warrant.

In other news, the NHL is still locked out. 

Awww

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It's not often that players in the NHL actually get to go out for Halloween, so thank goodness we have a lockout, right? Hockey players can go to parties or go trick or treeting or whatever it is they do. Anyways, here is a list of BMR approved Halloween costumes.

Anze Kopitar - Luke Skywalker

The Sedins - The Grady Twins


Patrick Kane - Cab driver

Sidney Crosby - Princess

Dustin Byfuglien - A sea captain
 
George Parros - Werewolf

Scott Gomez - Hockey player

Alexander Ovechkin - Anthony Davis


Charles Wang - Jay-Z

Kevin Schultz - Justin Bieber

Loser Domi - Can of Molson

Ryan Henning - Greek God 

With the lockout, we’re all scrambling for something to do. I know I’ve been neglecting this blog, what with graduate school and all, but I managed to stumble upon something truly amazing. I know we all love keeping up with the wacky antics of the Staal brothers. I have unearthed the official rules to the popular family game of “Get Drunk and Yell at Cars”, as followed by the Staals:

1. Only one player can yell at each car. However, if a car does a u-turn in the road and comes back, then the car is up for grabs again. Yelling at a car gets a player one point.
2. Additional points are possible with any reactions from drivers. For example:
   1. One additional point for a look.
   2. Two additional points are for any honks or fingers.
   3. Three additional points if the driver stops and comes out of the car as a result.
      1. i.      Additional points can also be available if there is a fight. Points are awarded by the additional players to the fighting player based on artistic style, blood, and who falls down first. This is usually out of 10 point system, but you can use a 5 point system for people like Jordan who can’t count higher than five.
      2. ii.      I can totally count way higher than five, Eric, stop being a doucher.
         1. Whatever, dude.
         2. YOU GUYS. We’re getting off track here.
3. If one player goes above and beyond standards for creative profanity, the other players may award this player up to ten points at their own discretion.  Anyone can yell “fuckface”, but there’s some real talent out there, and it should be rewarded.
4. Puking is a penalty of 5 points. However, if puking starts a fight, the puker may redeem him or herself with a good fight score.
   1. That’s right, getting drunk and yelling at cars is a co-ed sport!
   2. Ladies…
   3. Much like baseball, horseshoes, and your mom’s hairy stomach, there is no specific end to a game of Get Drunk and Yell at Cars. However, most players agree that a loss of consciousness or the arrival of cops pretty much instantly ends any game.
   4. Whenever possible, use actual words to yell at cars.
   5. Because there are no time limits, you may need to plan accordingly. This means that you may have to carry some more beer to keep the game going. Remember the old Thunder Bay expression: “A beer in the hand is worth two in the fridge.”
      1. Some places are lame and have open container laws. Eric recommends using a travel mug, so that way nobody knows exactly what you’re drinking.
      2. Don’t throw stuff at the cars. People, like, die from that.  And besides, we’re not twelve.
      3. Spitting, however, is permitted. However, you must sacrifice you chance to yell AND to get points, your spit MUST make contact.
      4. Don’t bogart other people’s beer. It’s not their fault you were too cheap or too stupid to get beer that doesn’t suck.

 

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As you may have heard, the New York Islanders are moving from Nassau County to Brooklyn. This was rumored to be coming for some time, but still, it's big news. I mean, it's bad news that the Islanders are leaving, but at least the Isles aren't headed to Quebec or Seattle or something right? It's gotta be tough for  Islanders fans, nevertheless. It's losing a symbol of self, a piece of the distinct Long Island identity. As someone who has lost their team before, I know residents of Nassau County must really be hurting.
Count BMR founder Kevin Schultz among those Islanders fanst that are hurting. This must be killing him right now. Just check out this tweet:

By far, this is the best day for the #Isles fans and franchise in many, many, many, years.

— Kevin Schultz (@Schultz88) October 24, 2012

Oh. Must be denial.