Everyone is going to pay attention to the NHL on Friday. Well, when they aren't watching the Rose Bowl. Everyone loves the novelty of playing a hockey game outside. Why is this? Nobody wants to watch Lebron James play at Progressive Field, you know? But the thing is, everyone loves it. Non-Hockey fans like yo watch for abotu 10 minutes as they show what Fenway Park looks like with a hockey rink in left field, likely hoping that someone gets checked into the Green Monster, even though it's about 50 feet from the rink. The real allure, I think, is for hockey fans, because, for the most part, this is where we cut our teeth playing the game. Outside, at the local rink in depressingly intense cold, flurries flying. It's going to take people back to their youth. And they will wonder why their dad's loved it so much. It's because they had booze to keep them warm.

DRINK

... for every montage dedicated to olde tyme pond hockey. There will be many. I suggest laced hot cocoa.

... for every fan created NBC acronym sign. Extra drink for every letter away from the beginning of the word the N B or C is.

... if there is talk of a Manny that could have been playing in left in Fenway, until he was jettisoned from Boston. Drink thrice if it actually is about Manny Fernandez.

... if Jeff Carter is boning your wife.

Drinking player of the year: Adam McQuaid

- Adam McQuaid has played only three games this season, his first in the NHL. Wow, and he is already the drinking player of the year. What an honor.

- Adam is from Prince Edward Island. As it turns out, they do not recognize New Years Day as a holiday on PEI. Adam will go to bed at 1130, just like always, not knowing what the deal is.

- McQuaid got his shot when Milan Lucic was injured. Watch your back, McQuaid. Milan Lucic is no one to mess with.

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Well, really only if your Olympic team is Team Sweden. In that case, he thinks that the committee choosing the team can stick it where the sun don't shine. Per FanHouse:

When asked about the snub following Vancouver's 5-1 win in Calgary on Sunday, Samuelsson was brutally honest in sharing his frustration: "Probably going to get in trouble for this, but they can go (expletive) themselves."

That's the holiday spirit! In his defense though, Islander reject Mattias Weinhandl made the team. When you don't make the team over someone who couldn't even make the Islanders, well, that's probably cause for some justifiable outrage.

But this isn't the first time that Samuelsson has lashed out. Here are a few other memorable moments I pulled out of the archives.

On trying, and having trouble with, opening a jar of peanut butter:

"Probably not going to help the situation, but you can go (expletive) yourself peanut butter."

Discussing being stuck on a Canucks team that will be mediocre until the end of time:

"Probably going to get in trouble for this, but they can go (expletive) themselves."

On the retirement of Jeremy Roenick:

"WHYYYYYYYYYYY????!!!!???"

Oh wait, that one was me. Sorry.

On bananas:

"Probably going to get in trouble for this, but you can go (fuck) yourself bananas!"

/chat joke

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Ha! I got to wish you all a Merry Christmas before the day is over! It still counts! On behalf of the rest of the writers here, Gary Bettman and Snoop Dogg, I wanted to make sure I was able to thank you for your continued support of Barry Melrose Rocks and wish you all Happy Holidays. no comments

Last night, when I was working on that Ric Flair post, the power flashed and went out. Having recently moved, I thought maybe I forgot to get it transferred to me. Then I realized they probably wouldn't turn it off at 1230 in the morning. Looked out the window, and it was out for blocks. After not too much longer, the fire department, including a couple of ladder trucks raced by. They eventually closed one of the cross streets. I assumed a car had found its way into a telephone pole.

Eventually, power was restored and I checked the news to find out about the accident. Alas, it was something better than an accident. The TV news said crewes responded to reports of "a man on fire", which is awesome. Does this have anything to do with hockey? No, of course not. But your know what? I think everyone should know about the dumbass that knocked power out to thousands because he needed to feed his meth habit. Or Brent Seabrook put him up to it.

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It's time for everyone to stand up and show respect for 40-year old netminder Dwayne Roloson. This guy has played his entire career on putrid hockey teams (including the time he backstopped the Oilers to the Stanley Cup Final cause they were the 8th seed and limped in) and kept them from absurd levels of suckiness and made them only kind of subpar (except for that Finals run where they, you know, went to the Finals). He's never been on a good team and has, especially in the last few years as he has approached 40 years of age, made them appear much better than they really are. HE'S A MAN. HE'S FORTY. RESPECT HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND WELL POLISHED RESUME.

For video of the most absurd consecutive saves you will ever see, jump with me.

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By now, everyone knows that Ric Flair showed up at the Carolina Hurricanes' game against the Rangers on Monday. That's great, and if i had any bearing on the world of the WWE or people who say "WOO" pretty much all the time, I might have some more topical jokes. But alas.

I was mostly amused by the AP's recap of the game. At the very end of their piece in the game notes, they say the 'Canes "pulled out a few stops" when they brough Flair their. What would have happened if he 'Canes actually pulled out ALL the stops. Who would they have brought to the arena then?Some candidates:

- Hulk Hogan

- Local legend Dale Earnhardt Jr.

- A team that might actually win a game.

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It's a Christmas Miracle! The Drinking Game will actually include a team from the West Coast! The game will be in Chicago, of course, but still, lets take our victories where we can get them! For anyone from the center of the country, you can go ahead and get drunk without any repurcussions, with yet another blizzard getting ready to slide it's way north. Even if you were unfortunate enough to be scheduled for work on Wednesday, no employer could expect you to sow up with the prospect of snow on the horizon. So sauce up that eggnog and let's get to drinking.

DRINK

... if confused commentators try to figure out where San Jose is, exactly. Thrice if they assume it is the one in Costa Rica.

... if anyone says that a member of the Hawks is going through growing pains. Because they are. Puberty is coming some day, Patrick Kane!

... because the advertisement on the Hawks website is for "Merkts Cheese Spread". Mmm. It's a sports fans FAVORITE cheese spread.

... if Frazer McLaren does something that the announcers describe as very well thought out and intelligent but you don't quite understand. Thrice if his brother Niles had anything to do with it.

Drinking player of the week: Brent Seabrook

- Brent's real name is Brent Oceancreek, however his agent suggrested a change to make himself more marketable, and perhaps to hide a lengthy criminal record.

- Standing at 6'3", he could easily reach the green beans off the top shelf for shorter old ladies at the market. He won't though, and could you kindly leave him alone?

- He is originally from Tswassen, British Columbia, which if pronounced correctly sounds like the air being let out of your tires. By Brent Seabrook.

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In Ottawa last week, a fire in the equipment van belonging to the Minnesota Wild destroyed almost all of their equipent. Sure, the authorities may say it was an accident, but I don't know. If the fire were deliberately set, then I can think of a few suspects. Who REALLY burned the Wild's equipment?

- Marian Gaborik. He didn't stop at burning bridges.

- LD, now in last place for the three way bet between Kevin and myself. She had to take matters into her own hands.

- The Flames

- Canadians needing warmth as they wait in line to see their doctor.

Do you have any other suspects? It is an ongoing investigation. Put on by me, of course, and not anyone else

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