We didn't live blog it, but today was the open of the NHL free agency period. Much like the trade deadline, it was marked by frenzied activity league wide, but the Wild being fairly undewhelming. They did add something called a Greg Zanon who used to play for Nashville (I did an image search, and I think that's him on the right), but they also lost Marian Gaborik to the Rangers. So, they essentially exchanged Gaborik for Zanon. I think that's a win.

Even the Islanders did something, adding Dwayne Roloson (while losing nobody). Getting the former Oiler goalie was shrewd, because they only have Rick Dipietro locked up for 35 more years. The way things are looking, though, I'm going to have to take some pointers from Kevin. How many goals should my team be down when I decide to watch The Big Bang Theory instead? How do I convince myself that someone that would be a role player on any other team (sayy, Cal Clutterbuck) will be a star for you? How do you find out who the top picks will be for the next year's draft? You know, stuff that you would know.

(SCENE: JASON BLAKE skating on ice, with hockey gear around kids with gear)

BLAKE: Hi folks! I’m NHL player and 40 goal scorer Jason Blake. You know, hockey camps can be a real expensive endeavor over the summer. The chances of your child making it to a pro league like the NHL are incredibly slim, and the chances of them being an impact player who makes millions of dollars and can buy you that big house in the hills are even smaller. So, why not enroll them in a camp that will teach them a skill they can use for life--the art of the fist pump.

As you might already know, today is draft day in the NHL (and an excuse to post this picture). And as you might also already know, my New York Islanders have the first overall pick. And furthermore, as you might already know, these particular New York Islanders have a recent history that includes fucking up every draft in recent history.

So I'm feeling really queasy right now. I don't even want this day to happen. I've had the same recurring nightmare every night for the last six weeks since they won the first pick in the draft lottery. It's the night of the draft. Gary Bettman steps to the podium in the Bell Centre and is recieved with a chorus of cheers -- my first hint that it's only a dream. He politely welcomes everyone in Montreal and watching at home on television to the NHL Draft. He then tells the Islanders that they're on the clock.

A minute passes. Two minutes. Five minutes. Ten. It feels like eternity. What the hell are they doing? You had six weeks to decide between Tavares, Hedman and Duchene. What the heck?!?

And Bettman walks back up to the podium.

"There has been a trade," he says. The Bell Centre erupts. "The New York Islanders trade the first overall pick and Kyle Okposo to the Toronto Maple Leafs for Tomas Kaberle."

That's where I wake up. Sweaty, frightened and for some reason on a lawn chair in the backyard clutching a rake like it's 1277 and I'm the last solider in my army left standing.

So tonight, months of nightmares come to fruition. Tonight the Islanders will likely do something dumb. They will likely take Matt Duchene because they think they're smarter than everyone else. Or they'll trade the pick because, well, that's what they would do. The Islanders have been bigger than the draft. They've always been smarter about the draft than anyone else. In their own mind. In reality, it's quite the opposite.

I'll be working tonight and won't see any of the first round live. That's probably for the best. Because when they do something stupid -- and they will -- I won't throw something through my TV and I'll still be able to watch Spongebob on Saturday morning.

I know the Guys on Ice last week mentioned Mama Staal’s Famous Stanley Cup Casserole. As luck would have it,one of my off ice spies managed to sneak into the Staal family sod farm (they grow good grass) and saw the recipe sitting next to the window. As far as I can remember it, this is the recipe (which tastes great if you’re also doing the
Staal Brothers drinking game, like the fine foxes over at Puck Huffers.)

Team frickin' handball. How do you play? I have no idea. It looked like basketball merged with Lacrosse. But by God, if there wasn't a handball game (match?) on every day I was in Sweden. I tried to find out more about the whole handball phenomenon, and I came up with the site for the International Handball Federation. I just read to the point where they started talking about their official organ. You're on your own if you want to find out more.

As for me, I'm just glad to be back to talking about hockey.

If you check out Puck the Media, Steve Lepore has a pretty funny write up about each team's fanbase. For the most part it's spot on and since there's not a whole lot to talk about right now -- personally, I'm sick and tired of reading about the draft --we might as well take a look at it, shall we? Here's the cuts from the four fanbases represented at this blog. And hey, since he kind of ripped of the idea to begin with, I guess it's fair that we rip his rip. And I'm still really tired from the weekend. So there's some excuses for you.

Hurricanes, Carolina. Owns a sleveless jersey, and fully embraces the “Redneck Hockey” tag.  Wishes skates would emit toxic fumes to obtain NASCAR-high.  Knows that Buffalo probably would’ve beaten them in 2006 if not for a quarrantine-level set of injuries.  Ric Flair is a likely hero.

Islanders, New York. Has been to at least 20 meetings about the Lighthouse Project.  Recalls fondly the Neil Smith era.  Is so ridiculously ashamed at what his team has turned into that at this point it’s lost all meaning to call the team a joke.  Mistrusts Garth Snow, but admires him for those pictures where he got those two cute girls to kiss.  Is still waiting in line at the Coliseum bathroom.   Would skip a night out with Christie Brinkley for dinner and drinks with Kevin Connolly.

Maple Leafs, Toronto. Cherishes the team’s most recent Stanley Cup win in “The Love Guru”.

Wild, Minnesota. You consider yourself essentially a Canadian team.  Not certain who thought it was a good idea to play the trap for the franchise’s first nine years of existence.  Life’s dream is to one day lead the Team of 18,000 in a “Let’s Play Hockey!” chant.  Still kinda bitter over the Stars leaving.  Likely more interested in college hockey than that silly team in the green jerseys.

Yeah, that sounds like some people I know.

It's Friday, so it kind of seems like the best time to post one of these bizarre stories that the sports world seems to be involved in every so often. Apparently, some real estate guy -- I hesitate to call him a tycoon or anything since, apparently, he never actually sold anything -- stole money in a Bernie Madoff kind of way from hockey players. The players include Sergei Gonchar, Michael Peca, Bryan Berard and Chris Simon (who knew Chris Simon was loaded?). So, the story goes, once he fake financial schemed the money from these guys he used it to throw parties for famous steroid using/gambling ex-baseball players. Cause that's the logical thing to do! Here's the dish from DeadSpin [sic'd]:

Las Vegas golf-course developer, Ken Jowdy, is accused of taking more than $25 million from investors to build a resort in Mexico, only instead of actually building anything, they guy just spent the money on parties for him and his friends. Oh, and his friends are Joe Morgan, Roger Clemens, Reggie Jackson and Pete Rose.

So Jowdy threw these parties to try and woo baseball stars into buying luxury homes in Mexico but he must have been a terrible salesman as none of the baseball players ever took the bait. But here's my question -- if it was so easy to get the hockey players to give you money, wouldn't it be just as easy to get them to buy houses? Was it really necessary to try and make things that much more complicated by wooing the baseball guys too?

*** Welcome to the Detroit NHL chatroom, Friday night! ***
SidneyNotKidney: WOOO! We did it!
Staal_Boy11: YEAAHHH! STANLEY CUP!
Fleury_Avec_sprinkles: WOOO! Does this mean I am now “Clutch guy?”

It's never too early to talk about next year, especially given the vast wasteland of hockey nothingness between July 4th and October. So, here are your betting odds for the 2010 Stanley Cup. As you can see, the Islanders have a nice head start. Why the Sharks are third on this list either shows that whomever made it has no idea what they're doing or they're just drunk. And how an aging team that clearly looked tired down the stretch is ranked ahead of the young up and comers that beat them in the Finals and won the Cup is beyond me. Other than that, well, it looks pretty sane.

Detroit Red Wings               5/1

Pittsburgh Penguins             7/1

San Jose Sharks               8/1

Boston Bruins                   9/1

Chicago Blackhawks             10/1

Washington Capitals             10/1

Vancouver Canucks             15/1

Philadelphia Flyers               16/1

New Jersey Devils               18/1

Calgary Flames                 20/1

Anaheim Ducks                 22/1

Carolina Hurricanes             25/1

New York Rangers               25/1

Dallas Stars                     30/1

Montreal Canadiens             30/1

Minnesota Wild                 35/1

St. Louis Blues                 35/1

Buffalo Sabres                   40/1

Columbus Blue Jackets         40/1

Edmonton Oilers                 40/1

Florida Panthers                 40/1

Ottawa Senators                 45/1

Nashville Predators             50/1

Los Angeles Kings               60/1

Toronto Maple Leafs             60/1

Colorado Avalanche             70/1

Atlanta Thrashers               80/1

Tampa Bay Lightning             80/1

Phoenix Coyotes               85/1

New York Islanders             100/1